My marriage is sinking and it is not going well. I have kept off of facebook for this part of my life because too many people close to me read those blogs. I guess the only way to vent is in a semi private world where only those who could care less are my twitter friends.
I am about to be a father. This is the most exhilarating feeling in the world. Someone will be looking up to me for guidance. They will ask questions and my answers will come from my past. A past where I had to work for everything and nothing was given to me. Unfortunately, the opportunity to be more than just a per se father is fading fast.
I cannot stand my mother in law. She is the devil and I really want nothing to do with her. It's not just her bi-polar disorder that is bothering me, it's her attitude in general. Before this crisis of a new child in my life came to be, there was the wedding. Before that, everything seemed to go so well. So in that thought, I will start from the beginning and try to covertly understand where everything went wrong.
Six years ago, or sometime around there, I was surfing the internet trying to keep myself occupied in Iraq as an uneventful superbowl played on. No ads were allowed so only the most diehard fan would be watching this viewing in Iraq. It was on this long night that I happened to say hello to someone. That someone is now my wife. We chatted and talked for about two hours. I was tired at the end of those two hours, but I could have gone on. She had to leave because a test was on the horizon and a study group was in session.
We parted our keyboard ways that night and I never really thought anything of it. Two days later, she popped up on my messenger and said hello. Now we both had initiated conversation and this became a friendship.
Several months later, my deployment had ended; our relationship did not. I had invited her to dinner when I came back. She accepted and I drove to her dorm. I met many of her friends and a good time was had by all. As the night came to a close, she invited me to her friends wedding in her hometown the following week. I accepted.
When I arrived in her hometown, the first person I met was the now pronounced devil. She didn't have horns then. She was nice. She offered me a glass of water and chatted with me as if we knew each other for a long period of time before that. Later that night, my friend and I went to the wedding. It started okay, but I crossed a line that I did not know about. I talked with her ex boyfriend. When I mean ex, I mean way ex like when she was in high school. Since that time she had an engagement which was broken off due to the other partners infidelity. So I thought that talking to her ex boyfriend was okay since he was far off in the past. I guess not. That little stunt cost me the night and my relationship with her.....or so I thought.
Waking up the next morning I once again crossed path's with her mother. I was about to say that we broke up, when she said "what did you say". I just blabbered something about the night and she asked if we had a good time. I replied yes and the day moved on. My now friend dropped me off and said that she enjoyed most of our time together. She left and I went back to Germany.
I came back on another leave and she asked if she could see me. Needless to say, I said yes and we were back together in two days. In the remaining 5 days I got to know her very well. I also met many members of her family.
Then I realized that I cared for her. I invited her to an all expense paid trip to Germany. I footed the bill and flew her out to see me for an Army ball. After some scheduling issues on behalf of the airline, the night went well. She even told me that she loved me. I was impressed because we both felt the same way. The magic was in the air and everything was bright.
I came home for one final leave before I had to change duty stations from Germany to Colorado. During this time, I was invited to Thanksgiving. Out of nowhere, her mother bought me clothes and all sorts of things for Christmas gifts. I was impressed for only being the boyfriend. The next day I went down to my girlfriend's home town and asked her father for permission to marry her. We talked and he said yes. I got the same reception from her the next day. Four days later, our parents met at a dinner in her college town. This was the first and last time that our parents would meet on good terms.
We got married two months later in a civil ceremony and I deployed to Iraq again. After a year of hell with deployment crap and being away from my fiance, I came back. We scheduled a renewal of vows in front of our family later that year. This was the first time that her mother would break out the devil horns.
The problem brewed early in the day when my best man and cousin was talking about drinking. At the time, he was 18 and clearly underage. I felt that he could drink because his father was there and would allow him as well as my credentials of paying for the hall. Her mother disagree'd and walked away. She stormed off like a little kid and left me wondering what happened.
The next couple of hours are pretty hazy for me because they were spewed with hatred. I found my best man calling my soon to be mother in law a bitch and my mother in law trying to persuade my wife not to marry me(even though we were already married). The hatred was everywhere, I felt it.
The wedding was going fine up until the best man speech. I had spoken to my mother in law to be civil at the wedding and just let us have fun. Then my cousin talked about me four wheeling at his house. He mentioned that I had done some four wheeling while being late for the rehearsal dinner the night before. The truth is that I only sat on the four wheeler waiting for my cousin to get out of his house. That pissed my mother in law off and it was on. By the end of the night, you could see her hatred. Especially when my mother left early because she had to take care of my grandmother. Not cool in my books at all. That made the mother in law pull out her horns fully and even a glimmer of a pitch fork. Yeah, that was bad.
The next bad move was her calling us on our honey moon and telling us that they were getting a divorce because of my wife's decision to marry me. Childish, I know.
Not much has happened since this time because our families have stayed apart. Now though, we have a baby coming..and baby means baptism. The wife's hometown is going to get the nod again and my family will do the whole shebang all over.
My mother in law is pissed because of my family coming down and now things are really getting heated up. I am almost at a crossroads at what I should do. Divorce my wife and never see my child again so that way I do not have to see my bitch mother in law, or just divorce my wife and try to have a relationship...I don't know. I don't even know that a divorce would help, but it sure seems like a mighty good idea.
I need help and it seems so far away. The things that I want have changed, but it seems the person that I was to my wife has not. I cannot escape that nice bodied person that I once was. The military kept me in shape and now I am not in any sort of good shape. I don't know what to do. So please, stay with me. I don't want to be left alone.
