A black president

Your vote is cast, then counted. The wait is over, John Mccain has been routed. Now what? Everybody at Grant Park in Chicago, Illinois waits in silence as the president elect walks down the stage to address this gathering of people. Before he says a word, before he kisses his family on the stage the will no doubt propell him to his administration, an altercation is recorded in Philadelphia. You may not have known it, you may not have seen it, but I did. I watched as two Black Panther Party (NBPP) members waited outside of a polling station. Two radicals who believe that they have been oppressed for years are finally set free in their will to Marxism. This was a small event, yet it represents so little. For african american people, this president brings hope. Hope that I never saw coming, a chance for people to truly be treated the same. A chance that everyone in our great country will be given equal opportunity.

hmmmm....hmmmmm.hmmmm

I love to write. I love to make a bang and follow it up with a swoosh. I love transmitting my thoughts on to a website for all to read, or none to follow. Sometimes my blogs make review boards and sometimes they make the trash. My best work has already been finished, I am just waiting to hit the bottom. I used to write poetry, while in the slumps of Iraq and look where that got me. I'm fucked up in America, or as Bushy would say Amer'ca. Wow, what to write.....It seems as if I am hitting a wall of potential as the night slips away. I am supposed to be sleeping but instead I am wide awake waiting for my 5 a.m. buzzer to go off. Then I am off to Arapahoe Basin for the day where I will enjoy absolutley nothing. I am so excited to kick this year off, yet I am so worried that my time snowboarding has come to and end. What if it has? What if I am past my peak? What worries will I bring my children when I cannot do anything besides write. My skin will be old and saggy, yet I will still have this message board. I wonder if what I write will ever make money. Maybe I will be fortunate enough to have my work plagerized while I am alive to see it in someone else's name. I will take full credit for that, even though someone else already received it.
Ahhhh.....Shit.....I should really be getting back to bed,

keystone-

tick,tick,tick..bzzzzzt!!!!!

When did this tick start? When was the clock initiated? When did I start a timeline that would end with a provisional failure? I guess that all started the summer term of 2008. I was beginning a very hard term of school that would not only prove hard, but disasterous. I began with Trigonometry, Introduction to web design and my final english class. As the term worked on, I became numb to the outside world. Work began to take it's toll while I attempted to make the best out of school. Soon exams, quizzes and lengthy study sessions where in order and I was out enjoying the summer. I had just bought a new motorcycle, found out my wife was pregnant, and had a friend come home from Iraq. How does a normal person balance that kind of schedule and take on school full time? Hell, my answer is "I don't know", but people do it every year. Actually most students have the summer off which is why they might get a needed break now and then. Anyways, back to my subject of this tick,tick, tick.......I noticed something spiraling out of control when I found myself peering into an advisors notebook which logged all of the drop outs from this math class. Before she wrote my information on the drop slip, she recorded another failure in her notebook. Slightly suggesting that this class may need some reform, or the classes before it were not covering the correct material. Either way, I dropped the course and became a statistic. I dropped the course and there I was, all alone in the math world wondering what was next. I know what my calling is, but I am not facing it head on. There is only one logical reason why I am not studying journalism.....it is because I feel many people I know have started on my road, only to end up realizing they were meant for something else. I've never felt this before,when I was in Iraq I was meant to fight. I loved the front lines and I never shyed away from a single mission that brought the bullets to my chest. Yet now I am having an inner conflict trying to figure out what I am meant for. Maybe this is all to premature since my test score has not even been revealed, but I know it's not good. I studied all weekend and most of the week to attain all of the information for this test. I was only shallow on two parts of the chapter, two parts that ended up costing me 18 points on this exam. You are probably wondering what the worst part is, well it's those 18 points, the 18 points that were felt over two questions. So....yeah....I fucked it all up. Maybe I should stop trying to lead a life that I think will secure me and lead a life by my heart. That would require a change, a change that I have never endorsed, since everything I've done has been secure.

Keystone, out.

Trust

Trust is not given, by some means it is not even earned. It is action, or lack of words all at once. Maybe trust can be defined as someone's inner being, the image they call themselves. How about my so called "friends". Almost everyone of them has betrayed me at some time and I feel the pinch. First my friends who I will call A and E lie tandomly to cover for a mistake left by one of their images. For instance, supposedly a bridge is one lower man's responsibility and yet he has no degree that would implicate relevance towards that work.
The hardest part is when you find friends who only end up betraying you. The light they shed brings out the good in you yet the light they shed makes you want to analyze them more. I want to analyze everyone and help them, yet I find myself seeking the evil in them only to find they are going to betray me. I see it before they do, I see the evil and I strike upon it. Why can I not find the courage to kill off the hurt they will bring to me eventually.
How about some close friends leaving my wife and I for dead. Might as well have. Fuckers, I've got better ways to waste my time.
Peace.
Keystone

Surpassing every other blog

Today I write before my essay is due. Probably not such a good idea since my great idea's come first, then the shitty ones. Speaking of shitty idea's, I have now surpassed my facebook and myspace blog accounts. I guess that means I spend more time chatting on here than I do anywhere else. Is that good? I don't know, but I am working on a way to let people get to know keystone a little more. I want everyone to have an opportunity to see me for who I really am. I writer, and a clear thinker who will always give you the best run for your money. Until later,
later later masterbater.

-keystone-

I am a baby killer

Please read with a grain of salt. Because the truth behind me, is that I am made of many faults. This is a poem which cannot be read, but has as much weight as the mayonnaise on your bread. I can rhyme all day long, but I can't even get the fertilizer to work right on my lawn. How the hell was I trusted with a baby, when I'm just a young adult;maybe. I've tried real hard, and caught the end....Only to meet my demise telling a friend. I refuse to trust you, even when you earn it. I cannot explain easy it is for you to burn in. What I am talking about is my self esteem, lower than a panda, eating bamboo leaves.
My baby died, I made it happen. I could schedual a whole new life, but I'd have to get out of this wrapper. I'm stuck in a rut, the one they call hopelessness. I'll find my way out, when the yellow brick road turns blue. Until that time, I'll be waiting for the cue.
When the door opens back up, I'll send in my troops. God I hope they show up with their boots.
This poem is over, I'm all done rappin'. Hopefully the story you got was one that left you laughin'.

Rest my son

My son you were the greatest, from the time of your conception to your death. It was six weeks and three days of absolute fun and learning. I have never had a better time, nor do I think I ever will. I am sorry that I could not bring you into this world as a son, a child and later a boy who becomes a man. I am sorry that I could not do my part to make you a great person, who would give our society so much.

so sorry carson,

I love you

Dad

The life I live

Wow, I have so much trouble naming my new blogs. I never find the words to connect the image that I want to replay in my head. Today it's a whole new image, the image of pushing somebody and almost regretting it. I recently watched a video of my wife skiing down loveland, and just plain skiing for the first time in 10 years. At the time I was having so much fun, so much was running through me that I couldn't take time to think about her. I remember how much fun it was to have her, but I don't remember taking an ounce of time to think about the impact this would have on her knee's. Luckily she lasted that day, and the rest of the season. I feel so touched the the sight of loving life every day that I just want to cry. I want people to read my blogs, not to make me popular, but to put an image of love and respect in their minds. I want people to sort of close their eyes and hear my keystrokes as they pen through the imaginary paper. In this case I want the smell of the Colorado pines to come out, the joy of watching my wife smile, and the anxiety of the resort closing all too soon. I want to forget my ugly war torn past and put a new foot forward, but still I find myself digging back through time. I can see the smile on my family's faces as I come home for thanksgiving, but I can also see the horror of a wife finding out her husband didn't make it through a battle in Iraq. I dig and dig but seem to come up every time with my past and trying to obsess with the future. I wish I could control it so that I had a mute button every time I wanted to see how majestic the world really is. Even if I had that, I would still end up wondering what was going on while I was pressing that mute button. Which would still lead me to finding this blog reminiscing of what was really going on while my wife and I were having such a great time on the mountain.
I'll tell you, I forgot to think about someone else besides myself.

I am so sorry little buddy(the live on anthem)

Oh dear god
with a shortness of breath and a faint of heart
this little being fell apart
it's all my fault, i'm to blame
I bow my head, and take a walk of shame
I ended a life, the one I created
oh how I wish this memory could be sedated
i'll end this now, without any drama
i'll go cry, cry to my mama

Dear little buddy,
It was an amazing 6 weeks and 3 days. You were great and I loved you every minute. Up until 3 weeks and 3 days ago that is. I became selfish and I am so sorry. I sent mommy's stress levels through the roof and ended you like a chicken egg. I feel so ashamed because I didn't just end your life, and stopped mine. Oh little son, I love you so.

Thank you,

-DAD-

Rest in peace baby

My dear Carson, or Alexandra, I am so sorry. Today, 28 august 2008 we leave you behind and venture through our lives without you. Over the past 9 weeks we have been here, but you have only been there 6. We wanted to be with you through the thick and the thin, but unfortunatley you didn't make the venture. While we wait here again, we hope that you are in a better place. A place where you will never be alone, a place where you will never die.
Enjoy heaven little buddie,
I am sorry that I never got to see you.


-DAD-

efletch

Hey,

I am beginning to think that my "vlog" on youtube has become contaminated with the comments that I am forced to post. What I mean by that, is I have set myself in a way that I cannot go back. I have found a dead space that entraps me into a one size fits all profile. I cannot get out of it because I have already made myself a part of it. If I were to delete every single video, each one of my new video's would be judged based on my past thoughts. I do like atheists, don't get me wrong, I do not like certain atheists. It's not a group, nor anyone person(except capnoawesome).
That is all.

Keystoneboardin

Iraqi Hymnal

mmmmm..... it's a good thing that I can close my eyes and type at the same time. I can feel everything around me with my senses going crazy. The army tought me to shut my senses off and create two new ones which will keep me alive. Truth be told, they did. Just like a cigarette though, they don't just turn off. I feel the sand blowing on my jeans, I see the arabs and they all seem to have guns. My ears rng from the sound of bullets flying near me. Finally my eyes water because of the intense heat and sand entering my eyes. It's a simplistic lifestyle that anyone can live....If you can handle changine your lifestyle. I remember my recruitment video which showed pictures of happy soldiers, the ones you most likely will see on t.v. What you do not know is that these soldiers have been pre screened and were probably sleeping beore posing in some serene environment for a picture. Yet our society looks down at a country like china because of their upfront image concerns. Wouldn't you rather be upfront than telling yourself a daily lie? I don't know how you feel, but this concerns me and it should concern america.
Anyways, I hope you feel a little closer to me

Atheism Sucks!

Well now, I have two youtube video's devoted to the subject listed above and no actual explanations. Well here it is. I am not able to portray myself as a person who respects the law of life while trying to make people think that I am understandable. It is just not possible for me, and if you are doing it, that is because you live a lie; either on youtube or in real life. Kinda like that chris crocker dude. This guy talks about being gay and he obviously stumbled upon a subject that would bring his hits higher than hell. Prior to his britney video, he had roughly 30 video's that all told of his transexual life. Once the britney film came out, he instantly deleted them and decided to go on a path that would make him a star. Now he devotes himself to hardcore gayness and he's even found a partner to help in with these acts. Back to the topic, I am angry with youtube atheists because they live a lie while everyone else is trying to prove a point. I don't know many other people who want to convince the world of something other than capnoawesome and the amazing atheist. Both of these guys are acts which are well received because they are entertaining more than they are making a point. You see, making a point does not sell. Only two things sell, sex and entertainment. If you combine the two, your video will be the best ever received(which is why capnoawesome has published a piece on eating pussy). I only sell the truth, and I don't even try to sell it. I put it out there for people to understand my views, yet I seem to get the subscribers who only want to rebuke me. I have yet to find a subscriber who wants to join in with me. This is very difficult because I cannot control what you think, nor do I try. There are no tricky cinematics in my video, nor are there any opportunities for me to overload you with facts so that you submit to my eventual finish. I have tried every move to make my video's popular but I have given up. I realized that most people(capnoawesome and the amazing atheist aside) try for years to make one good video. Then they live on that video for the rest of their lives. I would have to say that as of now, that video for me would be atheism sucks. I wish my first richard dawkins video would not have been deleted because it was my world, the way that evil goes when it is not confronted. I cannot truthfully say that richard dawkins is the antichrist, but wouldn't that seem accurate? I also wonder if everyone who does not believe is the antichrist. Some things don't fall correctly, but for now ATHEISM SUCKS!

Fatal Error

A fatal error according to me is an error which cannot be recovered from. An error so large in mass and capacity that it showcases every minor mistake you made. Anotherwords, a fatal error is the blue screen on your computer; the predator being eaten by the prey. This kind of error is known as a fuck-up, a snafu, yes the big one. In my case it involves my wife and I. No, I did not escort another woman to a cozy bedroom loft to service her, I made assumptions. What assumptions did I make might you ask? Well, my wife is pregnant to start this whole fiasco, and she's a very in charge woman to boot. She has been spending quite a bit of time at her friends house and I becoming worried that our marriage will not sustain with her time spent away. Yesterday I think I put gas on the fire and made every matter worse, I exploited my every flaw and I think this qualifies me as a fatal error committer. My wife came home around 11:00 from her friends with MY computer. I was given this computer to finish school and for my everyday needs since I am a disabled veteran. I need to get my assingments done, but I cannot because she is always on my computer trying to finish her masters degree. This takes so much time away that I have to revamp my scheduale to fit homework in that should be done at my liesure. After she came home, she informed me that she forgot the computer charger at her friends house. Boy oh, boy did that set me off. I scolded her right in front of my friend and she immediatley found an out by going to the garage. Five minutes later she yelled for my prescense because of he angry she was. I informed her that she needs to start taking better care of my things or she will be a single mother. The next part is debatable because she said something to me, and two hours later was trying to say she said something different. She told me that the cops were coming to get me for domestic violence if I do not leave. I left. She later said that if someone had heard me the y would be concerened and call the police, but I am not that stupid.
I am not sure what I should do. Although trying to work this out could take days, the best option may be to split. Sorry guys, I wish I could say something a little more positive, Hopefully my single life or whatever comes next will be better.
-keystoneboardin-

Great writers

I am all alone and I am just thinking. Just me and my dog and my rants can go on forever. My wife will not get to me, nor will she be able to discover my route to sensability.
Real writers:
You may think that they are found on the newspaper you buy, or behind the scenes of the new movie you just watched. You are also wrong. A real writer does not write for a living, which is why millions of real writers are found on this website. I do not consider myself a real writer, just a writer with a real personality. Not a paid celebrity in an opinion column that only gets glanced over. At some point in time the writers who earn a paycheck by punching keys were real writers, but they they converted to a machine. A machine that does nothing more than write what is in front of them. By the time they are given the chance to write something real on paper or a blog, it comes out in machine format. Many key points but nothing of great interest because the writer has spent all day writing and there stories are no longer interesting. I have a friend like this, a great writer, but never in the sense that he should be. He writes for battle star galactica....I know, I know, he writes for a famous television show and the content put out is very interesting in every form. Well this still does not make him a great writer by any means. He could write the best play, but never would he be considered a great writer for this. A great writer writes books, for fun, then has them posted on every wall after their death. This is a great writer, and someday, some day along the way, I hope to join them.

motorcycle accient

Riding a motorcycle can be a fun and enjoyable trip. Today I met a girl who has been riding for twelve years and can speed past 130 mph in a quarter mile. I was given the opportunity to stand in her observation box next to the track and watch her times. She simply blew away the competition and left nothing for anyone else to pick up.
Riding a motorcycle can also be dangerous as most of the general public knows. While sitting on a bike, you feel free and often forget to see the speedometer pegging out in front of you. I have had this experience many times running down a long stretch of highway thinking I was doing 75 when I looked down and saw that I was doing 90. Riding a motorcycle is a fun experience, except when you lay your bike down. According to most of my friends who ride, there are two types of riders: those who have crashed, and those who are going to. I am in the first class, as of today.It's a scary feeling when you wrech your bike, but never the less it is scary.
I'll be a little more careful next time.

midlife crisis

Wow, What a day. I have been focused on engineering for the past year. I was in an engineering unit during my first deployment to Iraq. I wanted to be an engineer so bad, but here I am letting my feelings go. I *sigh* have finally given up on this quest to become an electrical engineer and search for something a little more practical. I know this has been what I have wanted for so long, but I cannot do the math any longer. I am in Trigonometry and struggling to understand my professor. I should have realized this in my last math class when the professor was trying to relay different graphs to the class. Now I am taking a thought at trying different looks at my degree, possibly accounting, maybe human resources. I do not know, I just need a path that will help me get a good paying job. I will call this my midlife crisis, shit, it's here at 25

You did your time

Right now I am listening to afterlife by avenged sevenfold. I have had a great day so far and my night is getting better. I sit here getting drunk typing on a medium that allows me to think without reason or letting myself get to far. When I say to far I mean that I don't express my face or any net that may cover my head during some sort of conversation with the people I am trying to reach. My good buddie came home from Iraq today and it has been a great day for him as well. Hearing of what he has gone through breaks my heart. I used to be a soldier in the army, in the same unit as him, and hearing of his hard work for almost nothing is one tough cookie. My youtube account would probably portray me as weak because of my expression or my lack of introduction that I give. On here you don't see that, and I am happy about that. I am not saying that youtube is a thing of the past for me, I am just saying that letting myself go on a blog is easier. People can be as particular as they want and I will never see their face. Thank god for our soldiers no matter how fucked up our president is. Thank god we live in a nation that affords us the opportunity to thank our soldiers, and not watch them patrol our streets shooting at us. Think about that the next time you have a bad day. Chances are your life is way better than the life saddam gave his people.....In the words of my co-worker MO' FUCKER!

Jungle Fever

This feeling inside me, it must be let out. Whether it's pain or it's doubt, it's got to be let out. I've been sitting and thinking of the words to say, only to find myself typing another essay. This time it's math, the class I resent. I cannot find a way to relate, so on here I will debate. I write in poem form, sitting in my bathroom bored. I took a quiz today, and now it's past, only this time I do not think I passed. I watched the teacher make some X's, I watched him make some O's but in the end I rose, from my seat to the door to go home and think about it more. I got pist, I got mad, but I didn't let it get me sad. Tomorrow is another day, I think some more, but never forget this day anore. I make up words, like the last one you read, only they don't fit in, they are just said. Thanks for reading, I will say goodnight, I have jungle fever, and it's pretty tight.

it's in the can you drink

America was built on integrity hard work and the american dream. Somewhere along the line, we assumed the role of accepting every countries rejects who wanted a better life in our country. Not paying our taxes, taking our jobs, and slowing our economy. We have enough to worry about, now President Bush has added to our worries and we are set for disaster. I sometimes wonder if he is trying to top Nixon in a quest for the worst president of all time. Recently, an American icon which stood for everything we know, superbowls, parties, and sports was bought out by a foriegn countries money. I am talking about budweiser, and I am talking about our economy being so shitty that companies from overseas can buy our companies out, while our other companies move over to cheap labor countries. What have we done wrong? What kind of plan could we come up with. Well lets start with January 19th 2009. Now I know all of my english classes tell me to never put a date within my context because they are outdated after the cited date. Well tough shit. Miller has been bought out, Coors has been bought out, and now budweiser. Jobs are at stake here and I cannot think of a better way to watch our country get fucked over.
In the end it's all gravy, because I cannot do shit. As for bush, this war, killing people overseas to stop them from coming here, well they have just entered: IT'S IN THE CAN YOU DRINK!