Fighting.....

For the past two or three years I have written about something so devastating to my marriage that I am surprised that this union still exists. Today I write with a whole new sense and purpose. I write because I see advertisements on the internet and television regarding marital fighting and I wonder if my marriage has gone wrong. The truth of it, is yes. I think my union is doomed because I just do not get along with my wife. She is a great woman and I do not say that because I have a love for her. I say that because I truly think that she means well for society. She is a wonderful mother and a hard worker. She takes care of everyone before herself. I know this because she often sacrifices herself to take care of me. One cannot possibly understand falling in love with someone and then actually having to take upon those vows by staying through sickness and in health.
The truth is, 5 years ago I made a horrible decision. I decided to marry a woman who was strong willed and fought everything. I at the time thought this was a good idea and embraced our differences dually. I sit here before you today trying to spill the news on how difficult this has been for me. Every day she comes home and fights. Every day I come home and do nothing. I am depressed, she is depressed and it is because we are being forced to stay together because we took some verbal vows. I sometimes wonder if I am really an athiest because I rarely go to church and I do not really care about god. If this is so, then why am I trying to uphold a heavenly vow that I made five years ago. For what purpose am I still trying to be in a relationship? I have no idea and I wish I knew. I am not on the brink of divorce but I am wondering if I should be.