The June Heavy Weights Part II

I'm scared to even write this blog. Not because I'm literally scared but because of how much the last blog with a similar title meant to me. At the time I was battling marriage issues and wondering how I'd ever leave the year married. I went on to create a resolution of getting a divorce. Safe to say that resolution never occurred and I'm a better man for it.

Life has thrown so many curveballs since I wrote my predecessor blog on June 9th, 2010. I know today is June 6th, 2015, but the 5 years in that span have changed my life forever.

I've become a business owner. I've become better. I had a child at the time I wrote the first blog, and now I have a second. My wife has become a staple in my life even as I look back on those hard times.

Looking forward I don't know what the future holds for me other than death. In the time between now and then I am tasked with making the best out of my life no matter what I do. I have to. I have two children who depend upon my guidance. They don't know yet but I am the backbone of their formative years. They may never look back on this time and wonder how their lives ended up the way they did. But I can assure you and them that at this point in my life, I had the most fucked up childhood a young boy could ever not ask for.

When I was of my daughters age, I watched my father beat my mother brutally. I sat in corners hiding hoping I wasn't next. I was scared not because the fear of being beaten was upon me but because I had never know this type of fear before. It has remained in my brain ever since. It's a constant reminder to watch what I say to my daughter because she will remember these years for the rest of her life. Hell she may grow to resent these years and promise herself one day to never be like she was during these years.

I wouldn't be offended because everyone wants to have a better life.

I can tell you that I'm growing as a man. I want more. More money, more life and more hockey. In 2010 I don't know what my life looked like. I do know that in 1988 my mother and father divorced. I was five, the same age as my daughter is now. I remember that like clock work.

What I want is to create a location that is central for all of my loves in life. I know Facebook is around and will offer that to me. I know that I want this location to be the center of my attention. (In case you haven't noticed I'm holding nothing back) I want to be free to be who I am. I want to be the rockstar of my world and to be thanked for everything I have done to get here.

I don't want to do this fraudulently. I want to look back and be proud. Maybe as proud as Bob Bafferty is today after winning the triple crown with American Pharoah. I get the red line that this is misspelled too. I don't care and neither does he.

Truth is we all must perservere. I spelled that wrong but I cannot right click due to my wife's Macbook Pro being a full block of scroll mouse. I hope I look back on this one day and laugh.

Everyone should try to be better. Whether that better is by going to goalie training or learning new ways that help your children understand life. I want it all. I want to be the best.  I want to compete.

Truth is, I'm all about I.

I served my country and I gave to you. I gave six years of my life for what I look back as a noble cause. For the rest of my life I should be able to think about me and what I want.

But the real truth is I'm a man. I have a family and they come first. So whenever there is a time to write about the I in my life, I will dot the I's and cross the T's. That's because the time for me is so rare that I need to exploit it and live in it. Bask in it. Own it.

Thank you for reading the June Heavy Weights Part 2. I'm glad you are here, friend.